The Butter Nut Guild
by Weirdo Insane Person
Summary: What's this new fad in DBZ land? BUTTER NUTS OF COURSE!
1. Introducing! The Butter Nut Babies!

Disclaimer: I own squat! No, I don't even own that. I own my life, my money (until I spend it on ice cream or something), and uh... the story! ...kind of. I do not own the characters. ENJOY!

WAIT! I own the ENTIRE Butter Nut franchise! So do NOT steal it! (MuahahahaAA!)

Note: PG; because it has been edited by FUNImation... GOSH! How did they find me? ANOTHER Note: I'm editing all of the chapters again because my computer has decided to ruin my set-up. Woo HOO! (don't ask. Really, it's just too painful…)

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"Koko, and the butternut guild, lalalaaa lalaaaa... KOKO! And the Bu- huh-tter nut Ba-hay-bays!" sang a seemingly alone Vegeta. Little did he know, Goku and Gohan were just around the corner.

"KoooooKoooo, you are a butter nut! A nut from a butter treeee! I love you and your song! So I'm gonna buuuuuy your CD-ROM!"

"Gohan..." whispered Goku. "What are butter nuts?"

"I dunno," Gohan whispered back, "what's a CD ROM?"

"HEY! WHAT'S UP VEGETA MY MAN? How's my butta nut baby, Mic Nutty?" said Piccolo as he crawled through Vegeta's window.

"He's just fine!" Vegeta said referring to the stuffed peanut resting in his spiky hair.

"OH MY GOD! WHAT DID YOU DO?" screamed Piccolo in surprising terror.

"What? I see nothing wrong here." replied Vegeta.

"YOU... YOU! YOU CAN'T HAVE THE BUTTER NUT BABY ON YOUR HEAD WITHOUT SHAMPOOING WITH THE BUTTER NUT SCENTED SHAMPOO FIRST!" screamed Piccolo.

"OH MY GEE GOLLY GOSH DARN! (FUNImation edit) I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT! I ran out of it last night! SERVANT GIRL!"

As Bulma walked closer to Vegeta's room, she noticed two saiyans laughing their rear ends' off. (FUNImation edit)

"Vegeta, would you like me to invite your little friends to your room, or did you have something more important for me to do? After all, these invites ARE delaying your 'Happy Nut Happy Butter' Dinner!" said an annoyed Bulma.

"... Friends? ... Piccolo, do I have friends?" Vegeta asked confused.

"Well, there's Koko, Butta Boo, Butta Betty, Nutty Nate, Buttery Beatrice, Wa-"

"Okay okay, who is it women?" interrupted Vegeta.

"HAHAHAAA! HI GUYS!" laughed Goku entering the room.

"What? K-Kakarrot? W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w?"

"Hello Mr. Piccolo." said Gohan.

"G-G-Gohan? W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w?"

"What they mean to say is ahem WHAT ARE YOU DOLTS DOING IN THE BUTTERNUT GUILD HEADQUARTERS?" said Bulma mimicking Vegeta.

"What are Butternuts?" asked Gohan.

Piccolo, trying to stand up straight and remain 'calm', replied, "The Butter Nuts happen to be the coolest, hippest, funnest invention known to the world at this period of time. Not to mention the company has made millions, and with the upcoming card game, will make BILLIONS! And the biggest buyer is our own VEGETA!"

"YOU DIDN'T NEED TO TELL THEM THAT!" blushed Vegeta.

"You should be proud of it! You DID buy most of the store out anyway." whispered Piccolo.

"It looks like you don't know EVERYTHING Gohan." teased Bulma. "Even I know all about Butter Nuts!"

"Are they edible?" asked Goku poking the butter nut baby on Vegeta's unshampood head.

"NO THEY ARE NOT EDIBLE!" yelled Vegeta, "AND STOP POKING MIC NUTTY! You'll hurt his feelings..."

"How come I've never seen your collection of Butter Nuts before?" asked Goku.

Vegeta slowly walked to his 'under the bed area' as if they were his last steps of life. He leaned over and rummaged through a pile of junk and/or worldly possessions... and rummaged... and rummaged... and

FIVE HOURS LATER

"AHA! FOUND IT! PICCOLO! KAKARROT! GOHAN!" screamed Vegeta as all of the called people entered the- can it even be called a room anymore? After all... it took Vegeta 5 Hours of emptying his 'under the bed place', and now no one can remember if he owned a rug...

"THAT'S your collection of Butter Nuts?" asked Goku.

"No you foolish monkey (FUNImation edit)... this is a capsule that holds my collection. Come, follow me to the Butter Nut Hall Room."

Knowing their answers would soon be answered, everyone followed Vegeta into a secret stair case that eventually, maybe, hopefully, would lead to their destination.

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Did you like it? Well I know this is a bit strange, and I'm making NO promises to whether it will be more sane or not... To tell you the truth... I've only have a few ideas including the BNTCG. So anything is helpful at this point. Thank you. Muhhahahaaa... I didn't do anything... You CAN'T prove it! 


	2. Into the Grand BN Hall

Disclaimer: YAY! Thank you for reviewing! I don't own anything except for the Butter Nut franchise, so if you want to make it a real toy without my consent, I CAN SUE!

PG: FUNImation is still editing, but I won't tell you where they edited! (ooohoohoo! Sneaky!)

Note: Yes, I'm sorry, I was mean to Vegeta. I'll try to be nicer, but no guarantees! Remember, ALL suggestions are helpful. I'm also in great need of ideas, so give me anything! Ramblings, a strange word, WHATEVER! Just help out a bit. For everyone who reads my fanfic(s), I love you! And so without further delay...

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Finally finding the capsule which held his entire Butter Nut Collection, Vegeta led Gohan, Goku and Piccolo through a series of stairs, caves, rat holes and long halls.

"Gee... I'm starting to get hungry..." Goku said.

"Dad, you're ALWAYS hungry..." teased Gohan.

"Haha, NO LIE!" Goku reached into his shirt and pulled out a grease dripping sub. "MmmMMMmmm! DELICIOUS!"

"Oh Kami... Goku PLEASE don't tell me your going to eat that." said Piccolo, more green than usual.

Goku took a HUGE bite out of the sub and replied, "FINE! I won't tell you." (Classic joke)

Vegeta stopped in front of a glowing door. Gohan and Piccolo did the same. However, Goku was too busy petting his sub to notice. "Yes... who's a good sandwich? You are! YOU ARE! Awwww..." Goku walked into Vegeta's back and they both fell on the floor. "NOOOOO! SUBBY!"

"Stupid Kakarot... W-w-what? ...n-no... y-your sub... the mustard... leaking! Mic... MIIC NNNUUUUTTTTTTTTTTYYY!" cried Vegeta who went Super Saiyan.

"Hey Vegeta! You're the color of mustard!" observed Goku.

Piccolo stood speechless. "I'm standing speechless..."

"Not to worry! I'll fix Mike Nitty!" said Goku picking up Mic Nutty.

"IT'S MIC NUTTY NOT MIKE NITTY! AND IT'S MINE! HOW CAN YOU TREAT HIM WITH SO MUCH DISRESPECT?" yelled a no longer speechless Piccolo.

"Relax!" Goku turned around. Slurping noises could be heard. Goku whispered, "Mustard is good anytime, anyplace, anywhere." Goku turned around and gave a once pink, but now with a little yellow stain behind the ear, Mic Nutty to Piccolo. "For you, sir!" And then licked Vegeta's hair, "Ewww, you may be the color of mustard, but you sure don't taste like it!"

"Disgusting KAKAROT! Now I DEFINITELY need to go out and buy Butternut scented shampoo!"

"Well, thank Kami Mic Nutty's okay..." said Piccolo and Vegeta under their breaths. They both stared at each other and said in unison, "JINX! You owe me a coke!" Gohan and Goku looked at the two for 3 minutes as they argued over who owed who a coke until finally...

"Hey guys? What about the Butter Nuts?" asked Gohan.

Vegeta cleared his voice and powered down to a normal saiyan, "Oh yes, of course." Vegeta walked over to the doors and pushed them open. "But Piccolo still owes me a coke."

"NUH-UH!" screamed Piccolo as everyone else went through the door.

"FINALLY WE'RE HERE! Hear that Dad? Heavenly music!"

"Oops, sorry... that was me uh... 'dropping the bomb'." replied Goku.

"Eww Dad..."

Once the blinding light cleared, another staircase appeared.

"Up the steps and to the left... I'm VERY protective of the Butter Nuts." said Vegeta.

"Then why was the capsule under your bed?" Gohan asked.

Choosing to ignore Gohan, Vegeta led the group up the stairs and to the left. Goku went right...

Goku came back, "Sorry, I had to use the bathroom."

"Oh gross, I don't have a bathroom down that hall..." The doors squeaked when Vegeta opened them. It was dark and silent in the room. All that could be heard was Vegeta oiling the door to make it un-squeakable.

"No heavenly music or light here... Are you sure we're in the right place?" asked Gohan.

"Silly boy, we must turn the lights on first." Vegeta flipped a switch and heavenly light showed ANOTHER staircase.

"NOOOO! YOU SAID WE WERE HERE!" screamed Gohan. "WE'VE BEEN WALKING FOR HOURS! My feet hurt, I'm hungry, AND I GOTTA GO PEE PEE! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I WANNA GO HOME! … DAD! Stop licking the sub wrapper!"

Goku stopped licking the paper and said, "If you have to go pee pee, I found a lovely bathroom back there."

"That wasn't a bathroom Goku." said Piccolo slightly disgusted.

"Fine! I don't care! I'll just PEE MYSELF! GET ME OUT OF THIS STUPID HALL! I DON'T WANT TO CLIMB THESE STAIRS!" whined Gohan.

"Shut up. It's only wallpaper." Vegeta tore down the stair-printed wallpaper and now they saw a large, empty room. All of them filed into the room. Goku decided to run into some walls while the rest stood staring. "KAKAROT! CORNER!" Goku moved to a corner and sat down. "Stand back everyone." Vegeta pulled out the capsule and... POMP! A helicopter?

"THAT'S a Butter Nut?" asked Gohan still annoyed.

"Oh no... I got the wrong capsule..."

"YOU MEAN, WE HAVE TO GO BACK THROUGH THAT PASSAGE WAY?" Gohan said exhaustedly.

"Wait Vegeta... remember? You left the correct capsule in the glove compartment!" reminded Piccolo.

"Ah yes! You are right." Vegeta got the BN Capsule and put the helicopter back inside its capsule. "NOW stand back." The Capsule exploded to reveal 55 stuffed nuts of different sizes, 12 beds equipped with designer Butter Nut bed covers and pillows, and WAY too many action figures. Not to mention a whole stack of English BN cards. "I have the first deck of the BNTCG (Butter Nut Trading Card Game) imported from America." boasted Vegeta.

Goku came out of his corner and picked up a bright orange Nut. "I like this one... What's its name?"

Vegeta replied, "That's Buttery Beatrice... I have two, you can have her."

"REALLY? COOL! Hello Buttery Beatrice! Since I ate Subby, YOU'RE my new best friend!"

"Spaghetti." said Piccolo.

"What?" asked Gohan quite over his tantrum.

"Sorry, I haven't talked for a while. I needed to say something." said Piccolo.

"You!" said Vegeta pointing to Gohan.

"Who me? Couldn't be! I don't like cookies."

"YOU. You may also have one Butter Nut of your choosing."

"Hmmm... How about this one?" Gohan showed him a red Nut with mean looking eyes and gritted teeth. "It reminds me of Mom when I don't study."

"Nice choice, one of my favorites. That's Badda Nut... MR. Badda Nut to you." said Vegeta. "If we are done choosing, I'll put my collection away, and we can play." Vegeta picked up a navy blue piece of butter. "I'll use Moldabutter NonNut."

"Ew.. it's navy blue." whined Gohan.

"That's why it's MOLDabutter NonNut." explain Piccolo.

"OKAY! Time to play!" said Vegeta.

What possible game could be played with Butter Nuts? FIND OUT SOON!

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WEEEHAHAHAAAA! All ideas welcome. Hey, this time I was mean to GOKU. :-P Piccolo and Gohan will be teased more later. MUHAHAAA! BEHOLD! MY WRITING POWERS! 


	3. The GamePlay of Butter Nuts

Disclaimer: I do not own anything DBZ, but I own EVERYTHING of the Butter Nut Guild (AKA. Koko and the Butter Nut Babies)

Tada! So I FINALLY got this Chapter posted! YAY ME! Now I must say thank you to readers and reviewers for being patient. Special thanks to DARK Z 14. GREAT IDEA! I may just use that! I can feel the writer's juice unblocking the uhh... writer's block. Yeah... so thank you very much DARK Z 14. And due to well... request (kind of) of Uzume and because I was bored of waiting and because I don't have time because of homework, I won't have at least 5 reviews for the next chapter. WOOt! But please continue reviewing!

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FINALLY in the super secret Grand Butter Nut Hall Room, each Goku, Gohan, Vegeta and Piccolo have gotten a Butter Nut Baby. 

"So Vegeta, what games do Butter Nuts play?" asked Goku.

"We can play 'Who cracked the nut?'!" suggested Piccolo.

"No, I'm sick of that game..." said Vegeta.

"How about 'Help get the Butter off of my foot'?" asked Piccolo.

"That game's not for beginners..."

"Okay then... what do YOU think we should play?"

"Hmm..." There was a _long_ moment of silence.

"Spaghetti." said Piccolo. "Sorry, didn't talk for a while."

"We can play 'Why in the hell-o did you eat Mr. Nutbell-o?'" exclaimed Vegeta.

"PERFECT!" Piccolo woke up Gohan and Goku who were taking a 5-minute naptime. "We've decide to play 'Why in the hell-o did you eat Mr. Nutbell-o?'"

"It's a short game designed for even the least experienced player. We sit in a circle and accuse each other of eating Mr. Nutbell-o. We have to say something that we think our Butter Nut would say. For example," Vegeta cleared his voice and acted like he was dying (his Butter Nut is Moldabutter NonNut) "Hey... Mic Nutty... you... ate Mr...Nutbell...o...didn't you."

"No I didn't fool." said Piccolo in a gangster voice. (Mic Nutty grew up in da hood) "Yo, Mista N. was my dawg, G! I wouldn't eat a homie!"

"Oh, I get it." said Goku.

"This is childish. You are acting like children." said Gohan.

"MY TURN!" Goku said excited.

"Yo, I bet Buttery Beatrice did it! She's one whacked out BN, ya know wat I'm sayin'?"

Goku said in a high pitched voice, "Who little-ol me? I'm just a humble housewife trying to feed my babies. They are so darling too. Why, just yesterday, my son Joe lost his first baby tooth. But nevertheless, I surely do think it was Badda Nut who ate poor, dying Mr. Nutbell-o... he's always such a bad neighbor. Never cleans his clothes, never mows his lawn and I bet he's pro-"

"That's enough Kakarot. You're going overboard. Plus you do that way to well and you're scaring me. Your turn pip-squeak."

"I don't want to play." whined Gohan.

"Play and like it, boy, or I'll get the Butter Nut torture chamber set up."

"Oh fine..." Gohan tried to act like his mom, "I've always told Mr. Bellnut-o to do his homework, so he deserved what was coming!"

"Badda Nut is a GUY not your mom stupid teenager. You make Butter Nuts look bad. Let's just listen to the Butter Nut CD from now on." Vegeta pulled out his CD player and pushed play:

"_(a Barney-ish song starts to play)_ This is a song, it's track 1 on the CD, the next song is track 2 on the CD! Go find your mom, and get her wallet, and buy out the Butter Nut OUTLEEEEEET! No no no, this isn't some cheap trick, to get you to buy all our rejects, but if you do then the world will love you and Koko will toooooo. SO grab your dad and go to Koko's Krop, and ask our manager for the whole lot and don't forget to leave a tiiiiiip, because our employee's paychecks are a jip. _(guitar solo) (tempo slows down)_ Where are you now? My Butta Nut pal is no where to be fou-ou-ou-ound... _(normal tempo)_ So I guess I'll go to, to purchase it back to me, and then seeeeee, what else I can buy for my Butter Nut Babies lalalalalalalalaaaa BUY BUY BUY lalaaaa BUY BUY BUY lalalalaaaaaaa Buy buy buy buy _(music fades)"_

"THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!" screamed Goku in tears.

"Like always!" screamed Vegeta and Piccolo in tears.

Gohan had to break the moment to explain it was a song to get people to buy Butter Nuts.

"SHUT UP!" said everyone minus Gohan.

"And, there are 11 more songs JUST like it!" announced Piccolo.

"YAY!" squealed Goku.

Gohan sighed, "I'm surrounded by children..."

"HEY! I know what we can do! Can we go to a restaurant or something?" asked Goku throwing his sub paper into the trash.

"Oh yeah! We should!" agreed Piccolo, "I heard the Burger Queen has cute little Mic Nutty, Nutty Nate, and Koko toys!"

"Alright it's settled then, we go to Burger Queen!" said Vegeta. "Okay! EVERYONE! Hands in the middle!"

Goku, Vegeta, and Piccolo (and after a few minutes of persuasion, Gohan) got into a circle and put their hands together.

Piccolo started, "Butter Nuts on three! One... two... THREE!"

"BUTTER NUTS!"

"Can we eat now?" asked Goku.

Everyone minus Goku left the room and went outside.

"Then is that a yes?" asked Goku to himself as he eventually left.

The group is heading for Burger Queen, what challenges will they encounter? Find out... in the next chapter!

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Ah yes... the simply pleasure of burgers... Thanks to Burger King for supplying me with my greasy fake meat needs. Review please! 


	4. Cars, Food, and Stupidity

Disclaimer: I own The Butter Nut franchise but not DBZ. Excellent disclaimer, huh?

Note: I think my chapters are getting bigger each time I write them. So now I'm trying to split some chapters in two! ENJOY!

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Vegeta, Piccolo, Gohan and Goku have walked to Burger Queen, and now want greasy fake meat, that might have once been living seagulls.

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In line at Burger Queen...

"Would you like fries with that?" asked a cashier to the 3 Saiyans and 1 Namek. AKA, 4 weirdoes in line.

"Shouldn't we tell you our order first?" asked Gohan.

"...I guess that would make sense." said the cashier adjusting his nametag that had "Rookie" written on it.

All of the 4 yelled at the cashier to get their order in first. After the orders, over 200 Burger Queen Royal 'Semi Small But Kinda Bigger Than Most Kids' Big Kids Meals were bought (try saying that 3 times fast). Obviously it was one of the biggest money making days Burger Queen has EVER seen.

"MORE KETCHUP PLEASE!" screamed Goku.

"There is none left in all of the Burger Queen outlets in Japan." said the manager.

Goku whined like a toddler, "But I want some ketchuuuuuup!"

"Quiet down Kakarot! Or else they'll throw you out." yelled Vegeta.

The manager thought while cleaning up the group's mess, "Why didn't I think of that sooner..."

"What toys did you get Dad?" asked Gohan holding up a bright orange figure. "I got a... uh..."

"A Buttery Beatrice you fool." stated Vegeta. "I have Nutty Nate, Pea Noot, Wally the Way Over Weight Walnut AKA WWOWW, Nutty Nate, WWOWW, Nutty Nate, Nutty Nate, and HEY NO FAIR! I DEMAND TO HAVE DIFFERENT TOYS IN MY MEAL!"

"Hey yeah, I have 9 Butter Beatrices, 10 Pea Noots, 32 WWOWWs, and 156 Nutty Nates." said Goku with a calculator in his hand.

"...And none of us even got ONE Koko!" whined Piccolo.

A raging Vegeta suggested, "Let's go to the Koko Krop Keeper HeadKuarters in America and give them a piece of our minds!"

Goku said, "But if we gave them some of our mind, then we'd have less of a mind and-"

"IT'S A FIGURE OF SPEECH!" remarked Vegeta.

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At a car dealership...

"Why are we here again?" asked Goku.

"I've told you a million times! We are going to America, so we need a car to get there!" explained Vegeta.

"And I've said a million and one times that we can't drive because there's an OCEAN!" screamed Gohan having an outrage. "AND WE CAN FLY!"

"We need a car to look cool for the American chicks (A/N: Yes, Vegeta is now best friends with Master Roshi), and besides, we're getting a HOVER car to fly over the ocean." explained Vegeta looking around at all the pretty shiny metal. A few car salesmen came out of the building.

"EEEEKKK!" Piccolo screamed in a high-pitched tone, "THEY'RE COMING! HIDE ME!" Piccolo grabbed Gohan's shirt and hid underneath it.

"Piccolo! What are you doing! GET OFF ME!" said Gohan half enjoying it.

"B-but their marketing strategies will persuade us to buy a $$1,989,386,874,684,518,732,606,382,538,734,573.01 car PLUS TAX! EEEEKKKKKAAAHH!"

As Gohan struggled to get Piccolo out of his shirt, he tried calming Piccolo down by saying, "I'm too incredibly geniusly INSANELY smart for that. And besides, don't you think this would make a cool scary movie thriller?" Gohan cleared his throat, "As the car dealers stalk their prey, they argue over who get the new 'suckers'. They practice their approach in their minds, 'Can I help you?' knowing that a few minutes later... you'll somehow escape with a new car in your parking lot, and no money in your wallet!"

"WAAAH! EEKKAHAHAK! VEGETA! MAKE HIM STOP!" screamed Piccolo.

Goku made an observation: "They've stopped walking... I think they're playing paper, rock, scissors."

Ten rounds of paper rock scissors later, and one salesman walked over as the others cried there way back inside the building. "Can I help you?" asked the salesman.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! IT'S JUST LIKE IN THE STORY! SOON THERE WILL BE A CAR IN OUR WALLET AND NO MONEY IN OUR DRIVEWAY!" screamed Piccolo inching his way deeper into Gohan's shirt.

"Actually the car goes in the driveway and the money goes out of our wallet." explained Gohan. "AND GET OUT OF MY SHIRT!"

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In a driveway...

"Hey look! A CAR!" said Goku.

Vegeta said frantically, "Quick! Everyone check your wallets!"

"What's a wallet?" asked Goku.

"Arggh... A BETTER QUESTION TO ASK WOULD BE WHAT'S A BRAIN BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T HAVE ONE!" Vegeta screamed in anger.

"Um... Vegeta...sir, Mom doesn't let Dad have a wallet or money because she thinks he'll eat it... he eats everything anyway... and we're already poor with all the food Mom buys-"

"NNNOOOO! IT'S JUST LIKE THE STORY! THE CAR! NO MONEY! I don't wanna die! Everyone knows the guy with the turban dies first!" said Piccolo.

"Lucky for you Nameks don't have a gender, so you can't be a 'guy'." said Vegeta.

Piccolo sighed, "...Phew...I've never felt so glad about not having a-"

"HOT DOG! YUM! I FOUND A HOT DOG VENDOR!" yelled Goku.

Will the group EVER get to America? When will Goku start making sense? Will Gohan ever get into the Butter Nut fad? What is with Piccolo's fascination with Gohan's shirt? What kind of hot dog will Goku get? WHY DID THEY EAT MY KETCHUP! All these questions and more will be answered next time!... Hopefully.

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Yay! 


	5. American School Part 1: Arriving

Disclaimer: I can tell I lost some readers because of that long period of not updating... Oh well! NOTHING can stop ME! MUHAHAHA! Except a bad case of... CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME! Yeah, well, I don't own DBZ Characters, BUT I own the Butter Nuts.

Note: This is Part 1 of a 3 part... part... right... ON WITH THE FANFIC!

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Goku spots... a hot dog vendor? In the driveway? Well... okay...

"I would like a 12 foot long hot dog with extra pickles, hold the mustard, with KETCHUP!" said Goku. "Please."

Piccolo added, "And a bottle of water for me."

"Daaaad! In the past hour and a half, you ate a greasy sub, mustard off of Mic Nutty, more than 50 Burger Queen Royal 'Semi Small But Kinda Bigger Than Most Kids' Big Kids Meals, and God knows what else! Now you want a hot dog?"

"You know what, you're right Gohan. Vendor, make that TWO hot dogs!"

"Hu-rry UP! We have to get to America before night fall!" said Vegeta.

"Actually, Mr. Vegeta, sir., the time zones are different, so it is pretty much morning in the USA..." said Gohan.

"Then when we get to this 'Amereeca', can we order breakfast?" asked Goku.

"We'll see." said Vegeta.

The vendor gave the hot dogs to Goku, and a bottle of water to Piccolo, "That will be $$82,546 please."

"FOR A HOT DOG?" screamed Vegeta outraged.

"Uh, NO-OH! For TWO Hot dogs, AND a bottled water! PAY UP!"

"Actually, we're broke..." confessed Gohan.

The vendor put on a threatening face. "You're b-broke?"

"Hey guys?" started Gohan. "I think we should... RUN!"

"Good idea!" They all jumped into the car and hovered away.

"YOU'LL REGRET THIS!" screamed the vendor in tears, "YOU'LL REGRET THIS! I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU HOT DOGS!"

"That was weird." stated Gohan.

"Yeah." said Goku with 2 hot dogs in his mouth, "Hey! There's mustard in here! I said NO mustard!"

Vegeta interrupted, "SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE! In case you haven't noticed, I DON'T HAVE A LICENSE! I've never driven a car before."

"Oh well, if we get arrested, it will be because we stole hot dogs, NOT because of driving." said Gohan. "Personally, I think that the 'no stealing hot dogs' law shouldn't put us in jail... Especially in Japan! I mean how many of Japanese people eat hot dogs! I bet the only reason why hot dogs vendors are still around is because of Dad..."

Goku remembered, "I can use Instant Transmission!"

"That's nice..." said Vegeta.

All minus Goku slapped their heads in stupidity, "Of course!" they thought.

"Okay then, Dad! Transport us to America!" Nothing happens. "Dad?" started Gohan. "Transport us to America!" Nothing happens again.

"Where's Amereeca?"

Vegeta almost steered the car into the ocean below. "YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE AMERICA IS?"

"...Should I?"

Gohan pulled a map out of his pocket and showed it to Goku. "This is America." he said pointing to the USA.

"WOW! Amereeca is this little piece of paper? Technology has come a long way!"

"NO DAD! This is a MAP of America!"

"Ooooooh!... What's a map?"

"Let me try... Kakkarot... Do you sense a large amount of life forces gathered in one area?"

"Yes, I doo!" answered Goku in a sing-song voice.

"Then go there!"

"Oh, okay! INSTANT TRANSMISSION!"

"Where are we?" asked Vegeta.

"Spaghetti." said Piccolo.

"Piccolo, do you have to say spaghetti every time you don't say enough?" asked Gohan.

"No, really, spaghetti!" Piccolo said as he pointed to a lunch tray.

A 14-year old boy looked at Piccolo and said, "Dude, you're like, all green and stuff."

"Hey you, Boy! Where is this place?" asked Vegeta.

"Well... uh... this is the cafeteria... your in the WhyOhWhyDidIComeToThisTownAndJoinThisSchoolBecauseI'llNeverBecomeAnythingWorthwhile Middle School or for short: WOWDICTT ...uh... TAJTSBINBAW. The principal named it. He thinks we're all... uh... DUMB! Yeah, he thinks we're dumb."

"Yeah, I think he was right... What Continent are we on?" asked Vegeta.

"Uh... Cot-ten-tent?" asked the boy.

The group minus Goku shared looks of worry.

"Is that good?" asked Goku pointing to the spaghetti.

"This! I swear it's made out of worms or rubber. Do you want some, man?"

"DO I EVER!" answered Goku. He snatched the tray from the kid and swallowed the spaghetti whole. "You're right! It DOES taste like worms!"

"Gross dude! Come sit with us!" the boy said as he tugged Goku away.

"Wait! Boy! Where are we!" screamed Vegeta.

"ExCUSE me, but there is NO yelling at lunch time!" threatened a teacher from behind.

"Did you just tell me to be quiet?" asked Vegeta.

"YES I DID! Now SIT DOWN or be sent to the OFFICE!"

"Vegeta! We better sit down! If this is anything like MY school, you do NOT want to be sent to the office! Trust me!" whispered Gohan.

"What do they do in the office at your school?" asked Piccolo.

Gohan made a loud shriek. "It's horrible!"

"BOYS! SIT!" yelled the teacher.

Vegeta, Piccolo, and Goku sat down at a table of girls.

The group is in a new place, and Goku has been separated! OH NO! What could happen! FIND OUT!

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Muhahahahahaaaa... Review if you would be so kind, thanks. ;) 


	6. American School Part 2: Lunch

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ, but I do own the Butter Nut Guild.

Note: Hello readers of my fanfics. I am back! After many months of fanfic neglecting, I return with a chapter that was accidentally deleted off of Enjoy, review, and GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK!

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When we last left them, Vegeta, Piccolo, and Gohan sat down at a table of girls and Goku was dragged away by a young boy in a Middle School Lunch period somewhere in America.

"Uh, hello." said one of the girls when she noticed the three.

"Yeah, hi... Can you tell us what continent we're on?" asked Vegeta.

"North America." answered another girl.

"Excuse me, but who are you? We've never seen you around before." asked another girl.

"I'm Gohan."

"I'm Spagetti... I mean Piccolo."

"Oh right, I'm Vegeta."

"ROLE CALL! I'm Shannon! And this is," she points at a girl.

"Melanie." said a girl eating leftover cafateria food.

"And this is," Shannon points at another girl.

"Karrie." said a girl smiling, waving and staring in Vegeta's direction.

"And this is," points at another girl.

"I'm Lily, and Shannon, will you shut up." said a girl partly laughing while doing her homework.

Shannon mouths "And this is," and points to a girl reading a book.

No response is given.

Since Shannon was forbidden to talk thanks to Lily, she rapidly shook her arm up and down trying to get the un-named girl to speak. "And this is, and this is, and this is," she mouthed.

"Laura!" said Lily.

"Hold on." she lifted her head out of the book and said, "I'm Laura."

"And this is," mouthed Shannon pointing to the last remaining girl.

"Shannon, calm down. I'm Kate."

"And I'm Jen." said a girl standing behind Kate's chair. "Can I borrow 25 cents?"

"Haha, haha, NO!" said Lily.

"But I'm hungry and I need FOOD!"

"All the girls at the table said, "GO AWAY JEN!"

"But-"

"NO!"

"Hey, that wasn't nice." said Gohan.

"How about 5 cents? Can I have 5 cents?" asked Jen.

"WE'RE ON THE BRINK OF POVERTY!" screamed Laura.

"Fine." said Jen leaving.

"Hey so, are you people like the new substitutes or something?" asked Melanie.

"No... actually we're on the way to the Butter Nut Headquarters." said Piccolo.

"Butter Nuts? You mean the nuts who are all buttery?" asked Shannon.

"Uh... yes." said Gohan.

"Good Job Shannon." said Kate.

"Yeah, have a treat." said Laura throwing a Dorito at Shannon's head.

"AAAAAHHHHHH! I've been struck! The sky! THE SKY IS FALLING!" Shannon said dramatically as she fell on the floor.

"Which way to the Butter Nut Headquarters?" asked Vegeta.

"Hey, you have a nice voice." said Karrie referring to Vegeta.

"Uh... thanks." said Vegeta a bit skeptical.

"Hey!" said Shannon picking herself up from the ground. "The table is dirty!" she said while eating the Dorito that attacked her. "Clear out!"

The girls removed their books from the table as Shannon went to get a wet cloth. "Here we go!" Shannon put the cloth on the table and grabbed one edge of it. She spun the cloth like a helicopter to clean the table.

"Hey! You got me wet!" said Lily.

Shannon replied, "Whoops, sorry." and grabbed the cloth with her entire hand. Then she cleaned the normal way. "That's clean enough. We don't want to scare of these nice people JUST yet."

"Where's the BN Headquarters!" Vegeta was getting annoyed.

"I'll take you there myself after school!" said Karrie and then thought, "Wow... he's so buff... Am I drooling?"

"EW! Karrie, you're drooling on me!" screamed Lily.

"Oh sorry!" said Karrie, and thought, "Yep... I was drooling..."

"You know what? I'm on the east side, and now I'm on-" she moves to the empty seat next to her, "the west side." said Shannon. "Everyone! I'm on-" she moves to her original seat, "the east side." Everyone except for Vegeta joins in, "I'm on the-" everyone minus Vegeta moves to the seat right of them. "the west side." Piccolo didn't have an empty seat to go to, so he just sat on top of Vegeta.

"AHHRGGRH! GET OFF OF ME NAMEK!" and Vegeta pushed Piccolo onto the table.

Piccolo began to cry, "B-but Vegeta... Don't you like me anymore?"

"BOYS!" yelled a teacher. "I thought I told you to be quiet! Go to the office! NOW!"

"Hmph." said Vegeta as he followed the teacher to the office.

"C'mon Piccolo." said Gohan, "Nice meeting all of you." He coughed a cough that sounded like he was coughing "not".

So the 3 are in the office and Goku is off somewhere... And what's with those girls at the table? Do they reallly know where the Butter Nut Headquarters is? Dun-dun DUN! Find out next time!

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Yay for me! I finally posted again! This was basically a chapter for my real life flesh friends, so don't feel bad if you don't get it. (Thanks for the reviews, especially to Monkey Elder. I'm glad I fulfilled my fanfic writing duties to make you laugh. ) 


	7. American School Part 3: The Office

Disclaimer: It feels good to write again. :) I don't own DBZ or Characters. I DO own the Butter Nut Guild idea. And without further delay...

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ANNOUNCER: Last time on Dragon Ball Z, Goku-

Random voice: Wrong SHOW! GO AWAY!

ANNOUCER: Oh… can I have a job here, anyway?

Random voice: Hey sure, why not.

ANNOUNCER: Last time on... _(looks at title of the fanfic)_ The Butter Nut Guild... some stuff happened and... there were consequences.

Random voice: You're fired. Last time, the group was brought to an American school. Goku was separated from the pack and the others got in trouble with _(dramatic music)_ THE TEACHERS! And are now in the office.

Gohan, Vegeta and Piccolo walked into the school's office where they were awaiting punishment.

"HOLY SH- I mean, (GAH! FUNImation! SAVE US!) HOLY PURPLE CHINCHILLAS! WHAT IN THE NAME OF NAMES IS THAT!" screamed Piccolo while clutching onto Gohan's arm.

Gohan scanned the office and immediately found what Piccolo was so terrified of. "AH! It's... IT'S-!" He climbed behind his seat for some protection, "A MIME!"

Vegeta rolled his eyes and was extremely annoyed, "Please Gohan! You're a saiyan warrior! How can you be terrified of a person who doesn't even talk?"

Gohan replied, "Vegeta! They can feel boxes that no one else can see! AND- OH THE HUMANITY!" The mime had spotted the three sitting down and began to walk towards them. He had the whole Choutsu look going on great. He was about a foot away until...

"He st-stopped." said Piccolo terrified.

"QUICK! HIDE YOUR BUTTER NUTS BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!" screamed Gohan.

"Here Gohan, hide this for me!" Piccolo picked up Mic Nutty and tried to shove it down Gohan's shirt. Meanwhile the mime was trying to get passed the invisible wall that separated him and Gohan.

Vegeta stood up.

Gohan was fighting to push Piccolo out of his shirt. His voice was shaking as he asked, "Vegeta, what are you doing?"

Vegeta grabbed the mime's hand and pulled him closer to Gohan and Piccolo. The mime, apparently relieved that Vegeta helped him passed the glass wall, showed his thanks by giving Vegeta an exaggerated hug.

Gohan and Piccolo looked on in horror holding each other in fear. The mime walked to Gohan and Piccolo slowly. "G-get away from us!" said Piccolo. "I'll b-blast you!" said Piccolo raising his opened hand to the mime.

"No Piccolo, don't! It may be frightening, but a mime (mind) is a terrible thing to waste!" said Gohan. The mime began putting Gohan and Piccolo into an invisible box. Both of them let out an extremely high pitched scream. The mime stopped his box making and clutched his ears.

"Shut up!" yelled the mime.

Gohan and Piccolo gasped, stood up, and pointed at the mime. "YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK!"

"And you're not supposed to scream in school! That's why you were brought to the office, and all three of you are assigned a learning session with me, a mime, to keep your voices down!" said the mime.

"WhAT!"

Vegeta was laughing hysterically in the background. "Now this is entertainment! Wonderful, torturing entertainment!"

"All right, anyway, I'm Jake and I'll be your mime tutor for this evening." said the mime.

"Piccolo, this is the scariest thing that ever happened to me! AHHWAHHWWHHAHAAAAH!" cried Gohan.

"Me too Gohan! AAAAHHAWAHAHHWAHHAAAA!"

"HHAHAhahhahahHAHHAha! Hilarious!" laughed Vegeta.

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Meanwhile...

"Eat this now!" said a boy pointing to an incredibly burnt pizza.

"Sure! Gee thanks guys!" said Goku when he shoved the black pizza in his mouth. "It tastes like Chi-Chi's cooking!"

"Whatever dude. I can't believe you actually LIKE this stuff. Here, have my pudding. It's a school secret recipe. I bought it just for you."

"Sweet!" Goku grabbed the pudding and swallowed it whole, container and all. "Aaahh... yum, takes like plastic."

"That was plastic. You're not supposed to eat the container."

"Huh? Why not, it seems okay."

"Sick dude."

The bell rang.

"AH! The British are attacking!" screamed Goku.

"Shhhhh! That's just the bell! You better not yell or else they'll make you go to the office for mime training! It's scary." whispered the boy. He left the table and went to his class.

"Huh? Okay, bye." Goku saw that everyone left and he was lonely now. "I wonder where Vegeta and the others are..."

Will Goku be sent to the office with the others? Will Gohan and Piccolo survive the mime attack!

"HaaAHAHAHAAhahaAAAAHHAAHHAHAAA!"

Will Vegeta ever shut up! Find out in the next chapter of the Butter Nut Guild!

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:-D Thanks to the readers who are still reading. Till next time, STAY OFF MY HIPPO! 


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